I sent my fleet to the far side of Endor, and all I got was thrown down a cavernous well by my apprentice. I bet the dead Emperor collects Garfield cartoons about Mondays.
Things are coming along excellently here, for the most part. First, the bad news, so I can build up. I accidentally reversed into someone's garden wall yesterday. My car has some scratches, and there's only about a foot of wall needs repairing, but it still bugs me. I couldn't see the wall from inside the car (teeny short thing). I ought to have looked before I got in. So building up from that we have the fact that I've put all the camouflage on my Macharius, Molly. It's slightly incongruous that the turret was painted all in yellow, and the hull has a four-tone camouflage scheme, but if you're going to complain, please meet my friend, Hammer. He will be glad to explain to your fingertips why I won't be paying attention.
Building up from that pleasant if dull news, some dull but worthy news. My plans for Christian Aid were to deliver envelopes to 440 addresses yesterday, and the rest (370) today. I've exceeded that, and have only 200 deliveries left to make. So I've moved up my collection schedule. I now intend to deliver the final 200 this morning after Mass, and then spend four hours this afternoon collecting envelopes from places I delivered to yesterday. I owe a lot to Mum for helping with this. We've had no volunteers from the parish, and so I won't be doing this next year. It's incompatible with holding down a job and having a life. I may sound discouraging there, but it's true. It's one thing to volunteer a couple of hours over a week to deliver and then collect from a small area, but when nobody else volunteers, the workload becomes ridiculous. It is a very important cause, mind. So if your scruples don't prevent you, then I enjoin you to stick what you can in the envelope, if there's a collection in your area. I hope this year to raise more than we did last year, and go out on a high. I don't have the figures immediately to hand, so I'll revisit this topic when I do.
I had four cans of Red Bull to keep me up yesterday. They didn't really do much at the time, and instead kicked in about 4.30 am. I've had staring eyes and gurgling stomach ever since. Fingers crossed I can keep going until 6pm (my planned quitting time for today). I shall ask Father to make a plea for volunteers to give half an hour of their time, and meet in the church car park at 4pm. If we can get even a handful of people, it'll scythe the time we need to devote to collecting. I don't know if we'll get any volunteers at such short notice, but you can't win without trying! Well, maybe if the AI's really poor. Anyway, I've scheduled six hours to work on Christian Aid today: two on delivery and four on collection. The more I get done today the happier I'll be and the sooner we'll be done. The advice is that Monday evenings are the best times to collect, but I don't know how much two people can get done in, say, the period between 6 and 8/9 pm! Knock on a door. Wait fifteen seconds. Nobody comes. Go to the next house. Knock on a door. Wait fifteen seconds. Someone comes out in the middle of their dinner and asks you to come back in five minutes. You can't come back in five minutes, because you're trying to cover a hundred houses with two people. You come back in half an hour, and your tardiness is lamented. Rinse, repeat!
So it's hard. But it's also a very good cause. I've said it once; so here it is for those who skimmed the above. ;-) I shan't give you examples. If it isn't your bag, baby, an example won't help. If it is your bag, you'll be happy with just a link: http://www.caweek.org/?WT.mc_id=dis_CAW_google_brand_26apr&gclid=CJqi6v2Z6agCFUdP4Qodvi5vDA
I hope this finds you all well!
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